
Work isn’t just a way to earn a living—it shapes our identity, self-worth, and even how we care for ourselves. A toxic workplace can erode confidence, wellbeing, and self-care, while a supportive environment helps us thrive.
I was reminded of this just last week when I had lunch with a friend who had just been made redundant. It came as a shock—she felt blindsided and undervalued. She had been working 12+ hour days, meeting every deadline, helping the organisation streamline its processes, and genuinely caring about its success.
Yet, like so many others trapped in unhealthy workplaces, none of that mattered in the end. And just like that, the rug was pulled out from under her.
She admitted she felt relief, but also a deep sense of loss. Her mental health had never been worse. She had stopped exercising, neglected her physical health, and had been running on empty for months. It wasn’t until she was forced to stop that she realised just how much of herself she had sacrificed.
Hearing her story took me straight back to when I was made redundant 12 years ago.
At the time, I was a marketing manager for a large corporation. From the beginning, my role was unclear, and three weeks after I started, the wonderful manager who hired me resigned. Still, I threw myself into the role, using my experience, intuition, and best judgment to build a strategy that I believed would drive business.
Then my new boss arrived. From the moment he saw me, I knew he didn’t like me.
In our first meeting, he laid it out plainly: "If you underperform, I’ll micromanage. If you still underperform, I’ll push you out."
That sentence ignited my anxiety.
He slammed my strategy, refused to take my calls, constantly moved the goalposts, and gave me no direction. I still remember the trade show I had project-managed from start to finish—he turned up, took one look, and screamed at me in front of everyone, “What a waste of f*ing money!”
At the time, I didn’t realise I was being bullied. My self-worth plummeted. I cried almost every day. I felt trapped, small, and completely powerless. And when I was finally made redundant, I was devastated—but also relieved.
How Work Shapes Our Mental Health
These experiences highlight something we don’t talk about enough: how we feel at work directly impacts both our mental health and performance.
It’s a double-edged sword—when we feel disempowered, undervalued, or put down, our confidence plummets, and so does our ability to perform at our best.
Toxic leadership erodes self-worth. My boss’s behaviour wasn’t just stressful—it made me question my abilities and my value. My friend experienced the same. She poured everything into her job, working long hours, meeting deadlines, and striving to improve the organisation, only to realise she was never truly valued.
A lack of psychological safety in the workplace leads to chronic stress, poor performance, and eventually burnout. Fear of speaking up, unclear expectations, and constantly shifting goals create an environment where people second-guess themselves, afraid of making mistakes.
And the impact doesn’t stop at work. My friend realised she had stopped exercising and taking care of herself. I, too, was in survival mode, sacrificing my wellbeing without even noticing.
Looking back, I now see the real problem: the workplaces we were in lacked psychological safety—the trust and freedom to speak up, take risks, and do our best work without fear of punishment. Research, including Google’s Project Aristotle, has shown that psychological safety is the single most important factor in high-performing teams. Without it, people stay in survival mode, constantly looking over their shoulder instead of thriving.
What Needs to Change?
We all play a role in shifting workplace culture, whether as organisations, leaders, or individuals.
🔸 For organisations: A toxic workplace is costly. High turnover, disengagement, and burnout destroy productivity, morale, and ultimately, the bottom line. Since 2018, WorkCover claims in Australia have increased by nearly 40%—a clear sign that workplace stress is taking its toll. Companies must invest in cultures where employees feel safe, supported, and valued.
🔸 For leaders: Leadership sets the tone. Great leaders build trust, communicate clearly, and empower their teams. What are you doing to ensure the workplace culture you contribute to is a healthy one? Even if it means going against the grain, the impact you have could change lives.
🔸 For individuals: If your workplace is damaging your mental health, take a step back and ask: What is this costing me? Is it really worth it? Sometimes, we’re so deep in survival mode that we don’t even realise we’re drowning. Seeking professional support—or leaning on someone who has been through it—can help you navigate your way out. Protect yourself. Boundaries are a great place to start.
Work Shouldn’t Cost Your Wellbeing
Being made redundant felt like failure at the time, but looking back, it was a turning point. It forced me to reevaluate my career, my values, and what I was willing to tolerate in a workplace. My friend is going through that same realisation now.
And this is why I created BRAVE—a framework designed to help high achievers avoid burnout and build Boundaries, Rest, Authenticity, Vitality, and Empathy.
If my friend had clear boundaries, real rest, and empathy for herself, she wouldn’t have reached the point of complete exhaustion. If I had those things 12 years ago, I would have walked away before my job broke me.
We need to start taking how we feel at work seriously. Because if work is draining your mental health, stealing your confidence, and pushing you to the edge, then the real problem isn’t you—it’s the environment you’re in.
So, ask yourself: Is my workplace supporting my wellbeing or slowly breaking me down?
And if it’s the latter—what are you willing to do about it?
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